Mills' Banana Hammock

The Lemon Gatherer Says, We will have Lemonade from the Lemons Life Gave Me and Cakes of Bittersweet Beginnings

2012-01-26T03:59:00.000-08:00

I don't understand why people are bitter and resigned to a situation. Limp even. They rather bitch about the situation, making no attempt to fix it. It's like they're saying, "Here i am, for you to bleed".

Why do you allow it?

I don't understand miserable people. They see happiness and they want to attack it.

I don't understand people's thirst for gossip, thinking I need to be saved. I see heroes everywhere now.

I don't need to be saved.

This is surreal, what's happening now. All I need is time to get my head in the right place. Who told you you're allowed to be my hero?

[I'm the hero of the story, don't need to be saved.]

Underneath it all, I do lie in the ditch. It's cold and no one told me that. Some nights, even the walls question my resolves.

You need to have some degree of honesty and boundaries. There's a danger to it when you let it linger.

There's still a softness in me that's appealing.

Come.

We will have lemonade from the lemons life gave me and cakes of bittersweet beginnings.

I am Regaining Some Self-Control Today

2012-01-23T21:38:00.000-08:00

One good thing that came out this week is I question people's intention and motives.

Understanding why people do what they did (especially without consult) makes you, well, more understanding of that person.

And you reluctantly Okay-ed the decision.

But it's not Okay. If I am involved in some ways, why wasn't i consulted? Do i look like a chopped liver? Is there anywhere on my forehead that says 'DOOR MAT'?

So, instead of seeking understanding, i question people's intention. Why did you do it? What purpose does it serve? So you have a clean sheet, how does that benefit two parties?

I let people into my life based on trust. I should have better foresight.

I lost it because i was trusting. So i take ownership.

I am regaining some self-control today.

You Can't Doll Up Edward Cullen, My Real Estate Vampire!

2012-01-20T20:23:00.000-08:00

I got my nails colored, hair dyed, and went for a brightening facial. Bought two more dresses. One skin tight long tee and a demure electric blue lycra dress.

So, what now? Do i wait for a certain person to come home?

I'm thinking very much to doll up my place. After all, that little piece of real estate is a fucking vampire. Sucked me dry, made me feel older, forced me to grow up over night.

But you can't doll up Edward Cullen (yeah, Twilight reference! Boo Yah!). He is who he is. You find beauty in him instead.

So, no. Mills will not be buying red lanterns to adorn this real estate vampire. His very role is to serve his purpose.

He will not be a dolled up show room.

He will be my home.

p's: Hahaha, actually i spent too much on clothes, facial, manicure, pedicure, hair treatment and have very little left to decorate the house. Mimoo is pissing now that i didn't even buy a crate of mandarin oranges!

Honor Thyself: Mills Fridays!

2012-01-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

The fact that i hate not being able to smoke freely while i was in Singapore tells you that i must always exercise a fair bit of free will.

If i want to have a cigarette break, then i want to be able to light one up!

Freewill is something that most of us take for granted, merely for the fact that we're bounded by authority or societal approval.

Which got me to thinking about myself. I thought about my roles now and the possibility is seemingly limitless. Am i a writer? A lover? A traveler? A broken soul? A daughter? A friend? A survivor?

Definitely not Crazy Aunt Mills!

Whatever it is, for one day in a week, hold your heart in the palm of your hand to honor yourself. Go for a spa or facial session. Get your hair done. Paint your nails of rainbow colors!

Because when you have beauty, confidence, and strength, then love and wealth will come naturally.

Of Free Spirits

2012-01-09T06:08:00.000-08:00

I met another free spirit while i was in Singapore. I thought for someone so young, his visions are not. I see myself a lot in him, really.

Fresh off the army and he is going to travel to India and Nepal in March. There goes another person living my dream!

One wonders why people take chances when the norms are so comforting. Even if the norms don't make you happy, you're perfectly capable living in your comfort zone. You're unhappy, but at least you're familiar with the routine.

Free spirits seek to escape the comfort that routine offers. It's an addiction to the unknown that these people look for.

I, on the other hand, wants to leave the rotting comfort. But whenever i venture out from the zone, i get scared and run back in.

Meh. There's still Phuket in April.

Of Rumi

2011-12-27T06:10:00.000-08:00

Friend from high school has a cute habit. Whenever she knows I’m in my self-loathing mode (not hard to point out, really. When you see me sleeping in my bed in odd hours, when you’re talking to me but I have the eyes of a dead fish you see in a wet market), she will text me little nuggets of wisdom.

Of all, I like this one best:

'Out beyond the wrongdoings and rightdoings, there is a field. I'll meet you there.'

I imagine the field that Rumi talked about is happiness. Happiness that can be actualized only thru self-love. This is the place where all soldiers from opposing teams put aside their guns and realized that there’s really no point in fighting, if we could only love ourselves or just be in the moment. Just feel the breeze, the sun, the grass.

I wanted to be in that field since discovering this quote. Some nights when my mind was on overdrive, consumed by the demons of self-loathing, I tried desperately to be in this field. I imagined the grass, the windmill (don’t ask), the trees and the wild flowers. I was at peace. I found my zen! I carried with me happy memories.
I can only hold that peaceful feeling for ten seconds. And then I see the sorrowful ghouls and goblins of the past coming at me. Some holding machetes, some carrying torches. I put up a fight, but then I could feel my heart got heavier and heavier and I lost.

But it's alright. I know when to quit. Especially when he's going to places that i can't follow.

The Best Italian Restaurant, Happened to be Just a Five Minutes Drive from My House

2011-12-23T23:52:00.000-08:00

“I am going to take you to the best Italian restaurant.”

It’s hard to be depressed when the appetizer is a basket of soft, warm, bread bedecked with herbs and served with balsamic vinegar in a small saucer. It’s hard to be depressed when you have a plate of the creamiest spaghetti carbonara sitting in front of you, with shrimps so thick and fat, it’s only possible by way of steroid injections. It’s hard to even feel sad about your sorry ass when you’re sitting in a restaurant decorated with picturesque posters of Florence, Tuscany, and Venice. It’s hard to dwell in self-loathing when the tables are decked with red and white checkered table cloth and empty Chianti bottles to hold candles.

The best Italian restaurant, happened to be just a five minutes drive from my house.

Merry Xmas everyone! :-)

At Least I Don't Get Burned in Hell for That

2011-12-19T01:12:00.000-08:00

I packed my youth away; two boxes of clothes, two boxes of books, one bag full of shoes, and 3 shoe boxes of letters and momentos, heirlooms from yesterday.

I feel liberated. Emancipated. Editing my room is the first task of my five day retreat I am currently observing.

Pleasure is within reach now. I have a clear desk (for the first time ever! Here i am blogging on my desk like a man should be!). My coffee is waiting faithfully on my right should i need a fix. My books that i am currently reading (The Red Queen by Phillipa Gregory and The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin) are seated on my left.

I don't know for how long i can keep a room clean, but i have plans for further remodeling. Out goes the double bed which is hogging the space, hello life without TV and DVD player, and if budget permits, I think I am going to get the used air conditioner I have been eyeing on Mudah.com.my.

The thing about decluttering process is, you tend to stumble upon forgotten days. Back in 2004, we set up a burger stall during the semester break. We used to write our inventory in a little notebook.

I tossed the notebook into a shoebox and kept it save, away from curiosity.

Mentally patting myself on the back, i ate a slice of fruit cake, washing it down with a cup of coffee.

At least i don't get burned in hell for that.

I Medicate Mine with Little Act of Kindness to Myself

2011-12-03T07:08:00.000-08:00

My attitude towards life has always been simple; live within my means, give to others, love your family and partner, and inspire others.

The truth is, I'm struggling with life. Because although my attitude towards life is simple, there was no room for happiness.

Happiness is only real when shared.

Last night after a night out, I was belligerent with my best friend. For no apparent reason, I clammed up and refused to talk. My heart was heavy and my chest was congested. Through out the ride, he kept asking me "What's wrong with you?"

Everything.

I shut my eyes and let the moment passed. When i reached my house, I said "I feel alone".

And i disembarked the vehicle with only my shadow.

People underestimate loneliness. You can be in a roomful of friends yet you can still feel alone. You can be in India for goodness' sake yet you can still feel alone.

And there's a danger when you succumb to your loneliness. You make mistakes and you hurt people.

But this is my life. I cannot control my struggles but i can control what makes me happy. I needn't bother with other people's expectations but my own.

Pretty soon I might be writing as a third person. I read somewhere that writing as a third person helps to channel your authentic voice. Because looking at yourself from the outside helps with the process of self identification.

Some people medicate a broken spirit with alcohol and substance.

I medicate mine with little act of kindness to myself.

Bachalorette Party for Seven

2011-12-01T17:15:00.000-08:00

Nothing over the top and nothing anyone will regret the night after. No one went home crawling. Everyone slept with the dream of glorious food.

I cooked! Yes, finally the people closest to me get to taste my mean Ayam Masak Lemak Cili Padi!

Wen Ting, silap banyak la pergi bubuh kuah banjir!

Yi Ling and Yong Yong asked when they get to taste my cooking.

Definitely during my housewarming.

Only if thee come bearing gifts for the pretty house owner.

Soda with rose ice cubes

White Rice

Baked Potatoes with Salt and Butter

Stir Fry Mixed Veggie

Friend Wanton with Popiah Skin (Ah Mee bought the wrong skin!)

Ayam Masak Lemak Cili Padi

Berries Custard Made by Wen Ting

A Toast to the Bachalorette

If Love is Marriage and Marriage is Love, Then a Husband is a Wife and a Wife is a Husband

2011-11-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

My twin sister's wedding is in less than 2 weeks.

I thought instead of giving her angpow, I'd give her something meaningful.

My ability to write.

p's: I'm supposed to cross stitch a phrase for her, but the task is taking too long! :P

__________________

Love is not the delicious euphoria you get whenever you lay eyes on him. It’s not those arresting moments you shared among the two of you. It’s not about the breakfast in bed, the little notes of sweet confession, the longing you had when many weeks has passed since you last met. It’s not about the manic rush of falling in love, when time seems to suspend and everything else is animated by blithe disregard for sustained thoughts.

Love is the peaceful tension when the craziness of falling in love has died down. When everything else that is colorful and pretty turned gray and dull; serene nonetheless.

Love is not romantic. Love is life and life is real. You might frown at this now, but you will agree with me ten years from now.

Love is also about the distance you run for each other. Love is like a three legged race actually. When your partner stumbles, love will make you wait and help him to his feet, when everything else in your body tells you to untie the cloth that’s keeping you together and save yourself first.

Both of you might have differences, but you will make sure the differences are complementary.

You are not bounded by them.

Love is a strange disposition. It’s not about subscribing to the olden patriarchal practice. The man of the house is not responsible for everything, from kitchen bill to the roof that shelters both of you. Love will make you assist and support him. Love will also makes him appreciate and reward you as needed.

Of course, practice all these with some guarded sense.

One word can’t possibly cover all gray. If love is marriage and marriage is love, then a husband is a wife and a wife is a husband, in more ways than one.

The 150 Pound Elephant on my Shoulders

2011-11-22T05:59:00.000-08:00

I am stronger than i thought. I could carry a 150 pound man!

I Fell into Kef, Being Incapable of Hate

2011-11-22T03:24:00.000-08:00

I was out for dinner at Straits Quay last week. It was my second time in Straits Quay and my buddy and I were supposed to bring a friend from KL, Douglas, for dinner.

The place is big and is like a blardy maze! But you don't see me complaining about the long walk from the multistory carpark to the end of the complex. I enjoyed the ten minute stroll.

We talked about the difference between acting for TV and theater, and his upcoming stand up gig in Intel.

We sat at a bar and thirty minutes into the dinner, Douglas looked weary. He kept asking if it was going to rain. Well, I'm no weather girl myself, so i replied a half-assed "No lah, it hasn't rained this week."

He said he saw lighting in the dark horizon. I said I always see lighting but it just doesn't rain.

And then, for added measure, i said "Trust me".

After a short discussion, we decided to move inside before the rain comes, or before the two guys start to stab me with butter knives.

"My experience is, even when there's lighting, it just won't rain". I lit a cigarette.

"I love your optimism. But from my experience, ten times you see lighting, 9 times sure rain one!". He said.

I smirked.

And then i started to wonder, maybe it's true. Sometimes in life, i saw the signs, but i chose to ignore them just to keep the positive momentum going.

Had i chose to believe the signs a few months ago, I wouldn't have packed my bag in a haste, trying to run away from the rain.

Obviously, I am drenched now but i will not falter.

I fell into kef, being incapable of hate.

Wilhelmina Goes to Belum Rainforest!

2011-11-22T02:56:00.000-08:00

My Belum Rainforest Resort trip, for the most part, is a paid vacation rather than a teambuilding event. Sure, i got to know some of my other colleagues better. Even the wallflowers in my office bloomed to Belum warm sunshine, smiling at me and showing off their big eyed babies.

I even saw one dude laughed so loud, spits started to come out as he tried to talk and laugh at the same time. I remember him in the office as the guy who is always staring intently at the computer screen, looking like he's about to stab it.

In Belum, yours truly:

Made friends
Hiked the jungle
Cruised the Temenggor lake
Biked a bicycle with flat tyres
Learned that it's not easy to break a young coconut!
Cursed at a bunch of inconsiderate Chinese idiots who stepped on the rakit while i was on it
Cooked maggi mee in the toilet
Got a piggy back ride
Gave a piggy back ride to a 150 pound man
Attend the company dinner barefeet because i forgot to pack along heels or slippers
Gave Wen Ting massage (video to follow!)
Saw Tan Sri Mustapha Kamal
Saw weird road signs (Elephant Crossing and Deer Crossing road signs)

We've arrived! The weather is awesome!

I love how the water changes color!

This party boat fits 16 pax and the price is RM3,500 for 2D1N

I'm the female Archangel in the next X-Men

2011-11-21T00:49:00.000-08:00

I dreamed that I grew feathers on my elbow.

Weird.

It can only mean one thing.

I'm the female Archangel in the next X-Men.

:P

Maybe He's My Long Lost Tok Wan

2011-11-19T21:43:00.000-08:00

I had the rarest opportunity to sit in Tan Sri Mustapha Kamal's (of MK Land) meeting.

The problem is, he didn't know i was there.

Tan Sri and his team were discussing about how to market Belum Rainforest if i am not mistaken. When he talked, everyone listened. He was in a dour mood, bitching about this and that, talking about how some consultants step on his head, how his underlings sucked his money by claiming 1,500RM for a 700RM TV.

But i know some of the older contractors' minds weren't in the meeting. I think they were thinking of who to golf with later today and how long is this god damn meeting going to take.

In my honest opinion, i think his team can benefit from younger, modern go getters, and not the pak and mak turuts who were in attendance. One Malay dude raised his arm and said "Tan Sri, Miss Sally (bukan nama sebenar) has express interest to join our marketing team. She used to work with Dato XX but has resigned since. She is now based in France."

(ooohhhh big fucking deal!)

I shook my head. That's not the way you grow a company, cik abang oi! Yang tu semua kata kata yang terang terang nak bawak masuk knoni. You want to present your case, you should tell Tan Sri the following:

Her track records and testimonials
The projects that she led which yielded significant resulst
Other SOLID reasons why Tan Sri should HIRE HER

What the dude did was:

Introduced the girl's interest to join the team without solid testimonials (hek eleh)
Drop big names to show the girl's connection with the upper crust (wei, seriously, u think Tan Sri kesah ke?)
Glamorizes that she's international (based in France konon) although she's a free agent.

Tan Sri blew his top. He said "What happen to merit? I don't care who she is, who she used to work for, and where she is based! I want to know her success story! That's how we should hire people!"

I backed up in my seat momentarily and wow-ed in my head.

He just said what i had in mind.

Maybe he's my long lost Tok Wan.

Facebook Sabatical

2011-11-14T06:32:00.000-08:00

It has been a week since I last check in to my Facebook account.

I realized how much time I wasted on Facebook, writing my thoughts on my wall for the world to see.

On most days, i spent 7 pm to 10 pm on Facebook; checking out what my friends are doing, liking statuses, commenting on pictures, sharing gory videos (kura-kura paling ganas comes to mind....YIKES) and yada yada yada. Meanwhile, other more important things get neglected.

I neglected my zen moments that i used to treasure; green tea, dinner with friends, wipe the gunk off my face (needless to say, i usually sleep with my make up on), eat my meals, listening to songs, and simple pleasures like taking care of my nephew.

A week of FB sabbatical rewarded me with two bonding sessions with Yiling and Yong Yong and a trip to the hair saloon.

Dark color has always looks good on me. That was 250RM well spent!

It's amazing the great times you get to enjoy without incessantly being on Facebook.

Now, who else is taking the bus to Belum Rainforest?

And if it rains in Belum, can we have ghost story telling session?

I wonder if the leeches will suck the soul out of you, along with the blood.

2011-11-10T19:09:00.000-08:00

Something tells me i will be constantly writing like a maniac. That's actually how I deal with things.

This year, I lost my best friend since high school. I disagreed with her decision of getting back with her boyfriend. It was an unpopular decision, but i wondered if i had stuck to her decision, would we still be good friends, instead of her moving away from me and away from my life.

I wrote about her two entries ago (Mraz was right. The Phone Works Both Ways). I can't remember why i dedicated an entire entry to her then. Maybe something tells me I was being a sucky friend.

But i wondered again now if she's doing fine. Because she was the person i go to when i needed a friend.

Especially now, when i needed to know what she went thru before coming to the unpopular decision.

In times like these, i need her.

Counting down to Belum Rainforest, though.

I wonder if the leeches will suck the soul out of you, along with the blood.

That's Where I Draw the Line

2011-10-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

I read somewhere today (in between my breakfast and shower hour) that you'll experience great fulfilment when you're in love.

Not with the man upstairs.

Not with that nerd down the road.

Definitely not with the people who caused you much pain.

But with yourself.

It got me to thinking, wouldn't that make us...crazy? When a guy flirts with you and you go "I'm in a relationship with myself". And off he goes, flirting with Willing Wendy.

Or when your friends receive a wedding invitation that says "Come. Celebrate our love. Janet and Janet. 14th February 2012". Sure, it's a novel idea, but you'll get people talking about how soon you'll be in a straight jacket and cart off to an asylum.

Sometimes, i feel that self empowerment has been given more credit than it deserves. We are human afterall. We need another person to get all emotional on, someone to have a conversation with, and a person who is willing to share your hopes and dreams.

It's OK to be in love with yourself, of course. Sometimes i check the mirror once too many times. Some nights, i love to just hang out with Bart and Homer.

I've never taken midnight drives on my own though. That's where i draw the line.

Mraz is Right; The Phone Works Both Ways

2011-10-11T05:14:00.000-07:00

I've been getting messages from the past.

Perhaps they saw something that reminded them of me, and then, they decided to leave me a note.

It's nice.

I am reminded of you tonight and i wonder how you're doing. It's been a year now since you dropped off my radar and turned cold. I never wanted any attention, but when you left, i knew it was coming.

I didn't know it'd be hollow.

This bad taste in my mouth, i have my disapproval of your choices to thank for. I wonder if i stuck to your decisions, good or bad, would we still have our meals and drinks, and cigarettes and laughter.

I don't think they matter now.

I hope you're not far from me, and well, Mraz is right; The phone works both ways.

Whale or Mermaid?

2011-10-08T10:52:00.000-07:00

Last week, my facebook page was flooded with this picture, along with this false empowerment of a note.

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

You choose to be a whale over a mermaid?

What bollocks.

How dare you say mermaids don't exist? Who was the one who saved Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid? Was it a whale? No, it was a mermaid!

Whales smell like fishes too. They definitely don't smell like Anna Tsui's Flight of Fancy.

Mermaids procreate with mermans. They have a different reproductive system to allow the mermaids to bear young mermaids and mermans and they take care of the young ones with tenderness too.

Also, mermaids wear sexy shell bras and have silky shining scally lower bottom. Whales have barnacles.

And Hello! Them fat rollies don't store wisdoms! The burgers you had the night before are stored in there!

WAKE THE FCUK UP!

All sarcasm aside, it's dangerous to glamorize obesity. Instead of eating ice cream and watch the telly, why not take a walk in the park and get some exercise in? Instead of munching on burgers for dinner, try introducing Meatless Mondays to your family. You get to cut down on calories and get the necessary green intake.

I'm not saying being extremely thin is healthy, but doing nothing about your fat rollies is unhealthy. To top it off, you hide behind this glamorizing of obesity. I was fat once, so i know this false empowerment inside out.

So please, when you have to choose between being a whale and a mermaid, choose to be a mermaid. Not because you can ask Ursula for a pair of legs eventually, but because it's healthier and you'd look good in a pair of skinny jeans.

32-24-36

2011-09-29T01:13:00.000-07:00

I went to a tailor today to get my measurement for my Maid of Honor's dress.

Armed with a blue measuring tape, Auntie (the tailor), approached me and said "Why are you so skinny?"

She measured my chest and wrote down 32.

Measured my waist (I sucked in my stomach, yes) and wrote down 24.

And then after measuring my derriere she said "Actually, not too skinny also la. After kahwin, confirm you'll go fat."

And she wrote down 36.

32-24-36.

The measurement is close to perfect i must say.

Either I get a boob job, raise them up to 36, or go for a run in the evening to slim my butt down to 32.

Either way I look good. Hell yeah!

Remember the Turtle Dude in Finding Nemo?

2011-09-28T05:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but my train of thoughts coughs, sputters, and then goes speeding like a bullet train when I panic.

A bullet train is a negative metaphor. When my 19th-century old locomotive turned into a bullet train (probably Japanese made), it choo choos so fast, my well-formed thoughts miss the ride because they are slow like stoned turtles.

Remember the turtle dude in Finding Nemo? My well-formed thoughts reminded me of him.

So, when do i panic?

EVERY.
FRIGGIN'.
TIME.

I panic when i misplace my house keys, when I am late for meeting, when I can't recall my achievements when being asked by an interviewer, when I wake up late, when I'm indecisive, when I'm fickle, when work bogs me down, when I need to do the number two but there's no toilet in sight, and yada yada yada.

The only solution for me now is to be like the turtle dude. Swim with the flow. Live in the moment. Take deep breath whenever panic sets in.

Wear a bandana, maybe.

Sometimes when you get what you want, you lose what you cherish most.

Choo-choo-choose wisely.

Back to the 80's

2011-09-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

Last night, a couple of kids were playing Lailaililaitamplom. They were playing and laughing with such glee, it hit me that it has been years since i heard kids laughing while playing games.

Old school traditional games. Not nintendo Wii or iPad, mind you.

I remember when we were kids, we look forward to meeting up with friends at a padang somewhere just to play. I play toi a lot. We laughed, we fought, we hurt ourselves, but most importantly, we socialized and we exercised.

The only exercise kids today is getting is thumb exercise, really. And the friends they make are facebook friends.

Kucing I berak dalam toilet. Kucing you boleh ke?

2011-09-19T04:09:00.000-07:00

I once had the ambition to toilet train my cats with the Litter Kwitter system.

Can you imagine how proud i would be? Not to mention that i finally have a worthy conversation piece!

"Kucing I berak dalam toilet. Kucing you boleh ke?"

And then of course, I once hoped that King Kong will evolve into a technical writer. Anyday when I can't force myself to write engineering materials, he'll just drive himself over to my office, sits in my cubicle, and starts to tap his paws on the computer.

Maybe if he's good enough, King Kong gets to sit in those engineering meetings and get a quick update.

On a different note, a guy texted he uses a BlueBerry.

I thought it was a typo.

It wasn't.

I Thumbed My Way to Mars, Baby!

2011-09-19T00:35:00.000-07:00

When I meet friends from yesteryear, I somehow dread the What's-New-with-You question.

How about 'I grew a penis!' or 'I thumbed my way to Mars, baby!' for an answer?

Unlike Asha Gill's Lonely Planet Six Degrees job of which i envy, my life is pretty mundane.

I have no wedding to gush about, no chubby little kid to brag about, my culinary skill has reached a plateau, and my writing skill rightfully belong to a three year old chimpanzee I named Sam.

Sam

How do you answer that question other than the 'Nothing new' response?

I was told to glamorize the truth, but really, are you serious?

I'd rather tell a tall tale!

So please, friends, if we bump into each other next, try asking me for a financial soundbite. I can spend more time with you that way.

Or take me to David Brown's restaurant, a little English style restaurant at Penang Hill. I can expand on the what's-new-with-you question to fill the two hours of lunch.

Fare Thee Well, Julia

2011-09-15T00:29:00.000-07:00

Julia, one of our writers, left us to pursue her studies in the UK.

One week has passed and I still get weirded out seeing a dude occupying her old cubicle.

I miss smoking time with her too, especially when it was just the two of us talking about our boy problems.

No more warning her of any creepy crawlers in the way, no more nudging on the elbow when we see cute guys around (this is very rare, because i work in engineering), no more looking at the amount of rice she can eat in amazement, and no more tips in manicuring!

Ju-ju, if you read this, please update your blog regularly while in the UK. Who knows, one day, I'll pop by and have scones with you!

Lettuce Make Your Fried Rice Saltier

2011-09-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

One of the things that irks me most is people who criticize.

If you complain about the weather, I'm with that. After all, we don't control the weather.

[But I'm sure if God has Skype, they'll be Skype-ing their complains.]

Earlier this week I dined out with my friends. Our Sunday Social quickly turned into a C.A (Complainers Anonymous) meeting when one of them said "The food sedap la, tapi masin sikit" sambil pushed her plate aside.

That was when the floodgate opened. Soon came a variety of complains makanan tak sedap, air tak cukup manis, waiters too pekak, pet dogs too noisy (what the hell, who asked you to get a dog when you're living in a flat).

Look, the great Diane Sawyer said "A criticism is just a really bad way of making a request...so just make the request."

Instead of pekakkan telinga aku masa aku tengah menyekik, wouldn't it be much nicer if you just flag the waiter, ask for some soy sauce if you think your fried rice tak cukup masin?

And Hello my Queen of England, you're complaining to me when I'm buying the dinner. Sakit tau hati pondan mak.

Well, I can definitely make your fried rice saltier, but i can't assure you that the saltiness is not from the two dots of sweat from my armpit.

I was brought up not to complain about food, because we were not rich and we just eat whatever my mimoo could get back in the days.

Which reminds me, we used to bring our own eggs to the roti canai seller so we can have our roti telur at roti canai prices.

That was so cool!

Tonight I Wonder if I Can Pull a Benjamin Button

2011-09-06T06:18:00.000-07:00

We are a composite of characters we draw from others. A Frankenstein of characters if you may.

Another way to look at it is, every man is your teacher; you learn something from all the people you meet.

My boss was a classic nerd. Look up the word Nerd in the dictionary and his face is right there. He had zero knowledge in male grooming, and do not get me started on his social skills. However, 5 years down the road and two girlfriends later, he found facial wash, manicurist, designer clothes, and most importantly, he found denim.

I suspect his girlfriends are hygiene Nazis, so he mimicked their character.

I once too, spoke little English and knew nothing of English literature and arts, but a short fling introduced me to the wonderment. The knowledge of socialist icons and obscure literature pieces of unknown writers gave me an edge, a raw character.

Arif used to hate cats (I love cats, by the way), but 13 years later, guess which one of us sleeps with three cats every night.

I now place my fork and spoon at a three o'clock on my empty plate, a character i drew from Arif.

Tonight i wonder if i can pull a Benjamin Button and draw character from my five year old self.

Again and again, I think i was happier and smarter then.

Oh You Little Rule Breaker

2011-09-05T00:49:00.000-07:00

It is odd that Malay movies inspire me. Especially the ones with weak story and cheesy one liners.

I was watching Susuk the movie last week during the week long Eid holidays. Apparently, susuk or charm needles are needles made of metals that are inserted into your body to enhance your appeal.

Many celebrities are believed to have used it, including the late Tan Sri P Ramlee.

Of course, it comes with a price. When you embed a susuk in your body, there are rules that you have to adhere to. Usually, when you break a rule or a pantang, you have to kill a life.

And then i thought, well, how about promises? Just the night before my Arif went clubbing without informing me (to be brought to attention that this was done without malice). He promised to always let me know which club he struts around provided I agree to his clubbing activity.

That promise has been broken.

So what is the price?

Tujuh Dulang Hati Nyamuk?

Rather than spend the entire day whipping his bare buttocks with an imaginary whip, I introduce the You-Break-You-Pay rule. For each time he breaks a promise, he has to take me out shopping or buy me gifts!

Of course the penalty must match the severity of the offense. Takkan dia break promise tak habaq pi clubbing, aku nak suruh dia beli banglow sebijik kat aku kan? Pada pada la.

I let him off with a warning this time but the next time, it's gonna be an RM700 Chanel earrings.

Donde Esta Mi Super Fly Girl!?

2011-09-01T06:27:00.000-07:00

I admire a woman who is not needy, selfish, or clingy. Someone who is cool and can function on her own.

[Think Angelina Jolie. There's this darkness about her that is appealing].

I remember back in February to March, i was free...body and soul. Taking a half-day soul vacation in a little known island in Perth was all i needed, and i craved for more. Of course, i got lost in the little island, but i will always remember the heat of the sun on my back, my heart beating crazy fast, and the sweat dripping off my body while looking for a way out.

Getting lost has never made me feel so alive!

Maybe one day I will meet that super fly girl again.

Cheers!

29 and Still Breathing? Let's Celebrate!

2011-08-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

My bouquet of lilies at the corner

Desmond and Yi Ling, both found guilty for organizing a surprise dinner!

With Uncle Omar and Auntie Yasmin at the Royal Hotel

Me and my twin!

Lunch treat at Paddington House of Pancakes with the Smurfs!

People around you makes getting old worthwhile. No presents could ever make up for the companionship they offered. Lunches, dinners, and surprises (yes, i got myself two birthday dinner surprises. Best tak?) can turn something plain into something sweet!

My emotional lesbo partner threw a small birthday dinner for me. Siap bagi a bouquet of lilies lagi. I reckon the folks in the restaurant were betting their hard earned money on which one of us is the girl in our faux lesbian relationship. *kiss kiss*

The folks in the office a.k.a the Smurfs treated Emily and I to a luncheon at Paddington House of Pancakes (yes, mak tak posa, nok!).

Uncle Omar and Auntie Yasmin too took my family out for Iftar/Birthday dinner at the Royal Hotel (formerly Sheraton). Who knew, the ramadhan buffet spread is super awesome!

These people have chosen to walk beside you, sharing your dream and burden.

Cherish them!

What Do You Know About Birthday Cakes?

2011-08-23T19:35:00.001-07:00

The aftermath of a massive wedding-ring-hidden-in-the-cake hunt!

I turned 29 last week. Arif brought me to Shook! Restaurant in Starhill for a romantic (apa kah?) dinner for two.

And like every birthdays, there's the omnipresent birthday cake waiting for you to cut it and distribute the slices around the table to the merry wishers. When my complimentary sexy piece of cheesecake arrived (brought to me as a surprise courtesy of Arif and the waiters at Shook!), i thought, hmmm...Arif never threw me a surprise before.

Is he going to propose tonight? The romantic dinner, the surprise birthday cake and present, all the effort must come mano a mano with a marriage proposal as a climax, no?

So i picked up my fork...

and stabbed at my cake.

Ok friends and lovers, no wedding ring for me this year yet!

Try again next year!

p's: Lee Chong Wei was seated at a table in front of mine. Table dia pun ada birthday boy jugak. But everyone takes a picture with Lee Chong Wei and not the birthday boy. Kesian birthday boy.

Note to self: Never invite anyone more popular than you to your birthday party.

Mills Recommends: Lodge 121, Kuching, Sarawak

2011-08-03T06:13:00.000-07:00

If you're backpacking in Kuching and need an accomodation with a bit of style, I recommend Lodge 121.

Why Lodge 121?

The Signboard from the Dining Room

Free Internet for Vagabonds without Their own Laptop

Lodge 121 Reception Area

1. Clean Toilets
First of all, let it be known that I hate communal toilets. I'd rather wear adult diapers and crap in my pants than having to brave the sight of stray pubic hair, little chocolate surprises on the toilet floor, and abandoned sanitary pads, rolled up notwithstanding.

However, I had no problem using the toilet cum shower at Lodge 121. It was clean when i used it in the morning, it was clean when i used it in the middle of the night. Evidently, the folks at Lodge 121 made sure to clean the toilets around the clock.

2. Clean and Comfortable Rooms
Lodge 121 offers different types of rooms, and the room that i stayed in was the Triple Sharing room. The room comes with a single bed and a double decker (i was less adventurous so i called the lower bunk). All rooms are air-conditioned.

3. Modern Common Area
Each fold, tuck, and corner of Lodge 121 is exquisitely decorated with contemporary folk arts and brightly lit. I was drawn to the reading area. I stood there checking out the books on the bookshelves. Sometimes i check out good looking mat sallehs having their breakfast at the dining area nearby.

Lodge 121 Reading Area

Can Someone Tell Me What Language This is In?

The Stairs by the Reading Area Leading Up to the Second Floor of the Lodge

4. Waking up to the Smell of Butter on Toast
Second to freshly brewed coffee, I love waking up to the smell of butter on toast. Because the room i stayed in has a small window that sort of opens to the dining area, the smell of breakfast greeted me as early as 6:45 a.m. Lodge 121 offers free breakfast, so seeing half asleep zombies toasting and buttering their breads is a common sight. It's also a good time to get to know the other lodge folks while waiting for the toaster to go 'Ding!'

Continuing your chat after the 'Ding!' is optional.

Lodge 121 Dining Area with Free Breakfast and 24-hours Free Coffee/Tea

5. The Much Needed Home Away from Home Feel
Scoring a perfect accommodation is hard. Most hotels are so foreign, they make you feel like a stranger. Some backpackers places are dingy, there's a possibility of a toked up neighbor banging on your door at 3 a.m in the morning.

I felt very much at home in Lodge 121. The other backpackers are polite and educated, and they looked like they appreciate some privacy too. Every time I'm back from a night out in town and after removing my shoes (shoes are not allowed in Lodge 121), you can sense the comfort similar to the ones you feel at home.

Because of the much needed home away from home feeling, I get to have my nightly rituals of sipping hot tea before bed!

Mills in Contemplation

6. Ideal Location
For me, the location is ideal. The nearest tourist spot, The Kuching Waterfront, is just about ten minutes away. The Junk, Kuching's most 'happening' bar, is just five minutes away (by foot) from Lodge 121.

Airport transfer to Lodge 121 is about fifteen minutes (by car).

7. Affordable Rates
The triple sharing room i paid for was RM109. That's about RM 35 (my math sucks and i am without a calculator at the moment) per night.

Verdict:
If you're a virgin backpacker like yours truly, Lodge 21 popped my cherry in the best possible way. Best first time, EVER!

Lodge 121 Map and Details

Address:
Lodge 121,
Lot 121, 1st Floor, Section 33 KTLD, Tabuan Road,
93100 Kuching, Sarawak

082-428-121

To Krabi or Not to Krabi

2011-07-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

Krabi, Thailand

To Krabi or not to Krabi, that is the question.

To be honest, I'm getting a tad weary from my traveling; my pockets too. I kicked off my 2011 #1 resolution with Perth (March), where i spent hanging out with my mom, cousins, and aunt, and getting lost in Rottnest Island.

Fremantle, Perth

6-weeks later, off i went to Bali with Arif, and my BFFs (yiling and ah bi), visiting temples after temples, and getting my slipper stolen by my arch nemesis, Monyet Berambut Mohawk, in Uluwatu. Not cool, monkey. Not cool.

Tanah Lot, Bali

And then in June, I was in Hatyai! The tuk tuk scared the shit out of me the first 5 minutes, but after a while, I'm drawn to it! Damn cool rides!

I love the fact that we ate like hippies by the floating market, too.

Hatyai Floating Market

Yeah...hippies!

Barely two weeks later, I was in Borneo! We picnic-ed in the rainforest and shared our tikar with a family of 6 from Johor. But i still think the best part of this trip is the uber-cool hostel!

I also thought it's kinda cool to pose with a newspaper of each country, making it my 'signature' travel moment, perhaps. This idea was formulated in Hatyai, so i missed out on Perth's and Bali's newspapers.

Damn you Godzilla!

So, now, to Krabi or not to Krabi in August?

hmmmmm

Wilhelmina Goes to Sarawak!

2011-07-14T05:47:00.000-07:00

Didn't I tell YOU i'll bum around and travel this year?

And off i went to Sarawak!

Because with Detik Indah, Time Truly Stood Still and Never Started Again

2011-07-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

Back when Facebook was just a town in California, high school year books played the social networking role. My classmates would bring their brother's high school year book and we would all gather around the sacred book, flipping thru the pages, ear marking pictures of boys we wanted to date.

Next, came the usual I-can-hook-you-up-with-this-dude-my-cat-dates-his-cat sort of talk.

I was not spared of this shameless mating game. I flipped thru the pages of Penang Free School yearbook, and my eyes set on a certain Arif Alias of Tingkatan 3 Jed.

I sacrificed my prized Spice Girls poster in exchange for his house phone number. On the same night, i gave him a call and asked him out!

That was thirteen years ago.

My relationship with Arif is akin to the one i have with my weighing scale; a love-hate relationship.

I would be lying if i say it's all lilies in the pond. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There are times when I wake up, wanting out from it all. Get out and get lost, away from the ones that i love.

But almost always, his love for me anchors me.

And the beauty of us is because only i can hear the songs he sings.

Bali is our choice honeymoon location, not because it's a place of my love and desire, but because we want to be the ideal that Jayaprana and Layonsari represents; true love prevails in life and death, against all odds.

Can you imagine us dressed like a traditional Balinese couple against the backdrop of an ancient Hindu temple, a secret kiss tucked in the corner of our lips? Or running in a paddy field in Ubud, bare feet and free?

Because I can.

And when that day comes, i want no other photography team but Detik Indah.

Because with Detik Indah, time truly stood still and never started again.

Sarongnya Gratis Ya, Pak?

2011-05-24T23:31:00.000-07:00

A garden wedding by Kuta Beach

Ocean 27 Bistro at Kuta Beach

Sunset at Kuta Beach

Arif and I with the Tanah Lot floating temple at the background

Frangipani!

Offering to the Gods

A Pura or temple

A statue guarding the entrance of a silver shop

My BFF and I

Good Morning Bali!

A Balinese man performing morning prayer, i think

We all know why Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, found love in Bali, Indonesia.

Because Bali is filled with gamelan music, sensual spa, lovely frangipani, and intoxicating incense, creating a profound sense of romance and making you feel very much in love.

The truth is, Bali is more than pura or temples. The aesthetic of the gargoyles-like statues (which are mostly Gods and Goddesses in Ramayana) are uniformed, one will feel safe by just having these statues at the front door, keeping you away from harm.

All around, I chanced upon colorful offerings by the roadside and on the altar of a small pura. The offerings, often filled with flowers grown in Bali, are offered to the Gods in exchange of health and safety.

The Balinese people are very gentle. The Indonesian language is so soft to the ear, it makes you weak in the knees each time a waiter says "permisi" or "silakan". I even get to practice my Indonesian language with our driver, Nyoman. When he said we have to wear sarong to enter the Uluwatu temple, i asked "Sarongnya gratis ya, pak?"

I left Bali with a heavy heart, failing to catch the sunset at Kuta Beach, but then again, I missed Penang badly!

To my tohpui and ah bi, thank you for giving me the best birthday present a friend could wished for! I love you forever!

Next Destination for Wilhemina: SARAWAK!

I am the Painter of Signs

2011-05-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

The Lewis Chessmen

Sometimes we ignore them, sometimes we magnify them; the Signs.

No one should know the real you. Never let them in. Like the Lewis Chessmen, be an enigma, build the mystery, run away from the truth.

Let them love what they what to. Give them the belief.

We should all be the Painters of Signs.

Happy 13th Anniversary, Kiddo

2011-04-25T01:09:00.000-07:00

I've been told I'm good at picking up mannerism. I love how you stand in front of the mirror every morning working on your hair, making sure each strand is in place. How you apply those manly talc on your body, even on your back. I seriously think that's an anotomical feat but somehow you managed it.

I love staring at the arsenal of hair and facial product in your bathroom. I am ashamed too because all I have is a conditioner and comb. You taught me how to tone and moisturize my face, and i was there when you were thinking of getting a face steamer at Watson. That was super bitchy, but i know you relish in that.

You sing in the shower when you have the time. It's out of tune and makes me want to throw your Gaga at the bathroom door. Nevertheless, I try to guess what makes you so happy. I guess I'll never know.

Sleep. I lost count on how many nights I stare at you when you're sleeping, drawing out your side profile with my fingers, remembering it like a map. You grind your teeth at night too, I think it's called bruxism. In the morning, i'd fix your coffee and wait for you to stir in bed. When you shake your feet, that's when I know you're ready to come out from under the sheets.

I love how organized you are. You'd make your bed everyday even when you're late. The intensity in your brows when you iron your shirts, making sure they are folded the right way. How when you get in your cleaning OCD mode, even a naked Brooke Burke couldn't stop you.

People seem to think I bully you. I'd like to think we bully each other. They don't know that you make me put dirty clothes in your dirty clothes hamper (when I think they look good draping the couch), how you always wanted to eat at Nasi Kandar Beratur even though you know I hate to wait for my food, how you made me walk around TWO malls for TWO hours just to find ONE jacket.

But I love you in spite of it all. Because we can be naked in spirit and still be calm. I'd fly to the moon and back just so we can see more anniversaries. I know whatever I am today is only possible with you in my life.

I cannot imagine living without you.

Happy 13th Anniversary. Let's blow our 13th candles and I'll meet you at the spa. :))

Here You Go Sweetheart. It's Right Next to the Penis Sleeve

2011-03-28T05:18:00.000-07:00

I stood in front of this place for 10 minutes. A group of drunk aborigines was nearby, getting high on a bench. I smoked a ciggarette, my sunnies on, and ignored their drunken singing.

I am not going to lie to you, but i was a bit nervous about going into the adult shop. Maybe because I've never done this before. Anything remotely embarrasing, i will buy discreetly over the internet.

[Men, far and wide, i respect your courage for getting condoms in 7-eleven. I'm sure the cashiers were thinking "Someone's getting some tonight". I mean, why else would you buy condoms, right?]

Suddenly, i found myself crossing the road. Hey, my feet are walking by themselves! Should i turn back, or walk past the street and buy a drink from the Indonesian restaurant nearby?

[It's now or never, babe]

Ding Dong!

Suddenly, I was in! I have successfully walked past the gate of restrain, of embarrasment, of self consciousness!

Suddenly, the cashier came with a smile.

[Uh oh. run. RUN!].

I pretended to look elsewhere so she wouldn't ask me anything.

"Hi, honey. How can i help you?"

[Shit].

I had no idea what i was going to buy.

I went thru a quick SSR (skip, scan, retrieve) process in my mind, looking for any sex toys that i have read about.

COCK RING!

"I'm actually looking for a penis ring". I said.

She nodded. She's buying it. She thought i came here with something in mind, i thought.

For added measure, i added nonchalantly, "You know, a cock ring?"

"Oh, we do have it. There are generic ones. No sizes. But i recommend getting one with a particular size". She paused before continuing. "Any size in mind, honey?"

[Shit. There are sizes? Are you kidding me? What's next, glow in the dark cock ring?]

"Ummm....i have no idea actually".

"How big is he?"

WOW. We are actually discussing penis sizes. Akward!

I scratched my head.

Oh God. I want to get out of here!

I made a sizable O, "Ummm.....he's about this size".

"Ahhhh...you'd want a medium. Here you go sweetheart. It's right next to the penis sleeve."

Do You Know Where the Ferry is?

2011-03-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

The pictures in this post were taken before i 'auditioned' for a role in Lost.

Ok...Don't panic. You're not lost.

Are you kidding? I'm lost!

I explored Rottnestt Island yesterday, and on my way back from the Little Salmon Bay, i took a wrong turn and ended up about 10 km away from the jetty. Panic sets in, and my crotch was burning from the rock hard bicycle seat.

Sweat. I was sweating. I looked around me and i saw a beautiful pink lake and a family of quokkas was hanging out by the roadside. Shit, no time to stop and take pictures. Must continue to cycle although the heat was taking its toll on me.

Earlier today when i reached the jetty, it took me about an hour and fifteen minutes to get to Little Salmon Bay (the snorkeling site). I left little salmon bay at about 2:15 pm. I should reach the jetty at 3:30 pm, but now i'm lost and i wanted to cry like a girl.

I reached a turning. The sign says Armstrong Rock. I looked at my map and discovered i have ended up on the other side of the island! And it's already 3.15 pm.

I biked until i reached another crossing. Hopped off my bike and drank a gulp of water. A couple was coming my way and i waved to them.

"Do you know the way to the jetty?" I asked the brunette girl.

"Oh you mean where the ferry is?" She asked. I nodded.

"Just up ahead and take the first turning to the right".

I took the turning that she pointed and again, unfamiliar sight. I cursed when i reached another crossing that doesn't say where the hell the ferry is.

Up ahead i saw a man riding a bike. He was wearing a yellow colored t-shirt. I waved (this time i panted a bit because i almost died of heatstroke, dehydration, and panic attacks).

"Do you know where the ferry is?"

"Oh it's just up this road. You have a flat tyre or something?" He looked at my bike.

"No, i took a wrong turn and now i'm lost and i need to get to the ferry by 3:45 the latest. How far is the ferry from here?"

"Ummm...about 2 km. Don't worry, i'm heading that way too."

So i biked behind him. He was biking pretty fast for his age.

And then i saw the jetty.

He pointed to me the path heading to the jetty and i shouted a loud "Thanks. See ya!"

Hello Rottnest Island!

The plaza

Hmmm...which way to the beach?

I think I'll go to Little Salmon Bay to snorkel

Fellow Reef Seekers

Other bikers

Yes, snakes

There's a railway in this island too, but i'm not sure if it's still in service

The track

Dyer Island...my first sight of the big sea. Breathtaking!

....speechless...

Quokkas! They hang around near rubbish bins

Almost there now...:)

Mak dah sampai!

Water is so cold!

Cam whore in the sun

Hi. I'm holding a stick and i'm not wearing any pants

Hey you out there, look at my willy hanging out!

Here, honey, lemme squat for you

The view from my spot

Time to head back to the jetty. I asked a girl to take a picture.

And then she took another. So nice.

At Jeannie Lookout. Amazing.

I love how the waves crash mid sea

After this picture, i got lost. :p

Rockeby Road and My Wedding Dress

2011-03-25T23:34:00.000-07:00

Before you begin reading, i would like to apologize for the quality of these pictures. The lens of my phone was smeared with very delicious french onion dip.

I am taken in by Rockeby Road in Subiaco. It feels like i stepped into a 1960's movie set. Quaint and pleasant. There are the ever present sidewalk cafes, a record store, a second hand bookstore, and a second hand clothing store.

A record store

The Regal Theatre...Grease was showing.

Good Sammy Secondhand shop

Good Sammy, the second hand clothing store, is where i found my potential wedding dress. Yes, a secondhand wedding dress. I felt like buying the dress and wear it at home, sitting on the couch, watching tv.

Nice right?

But can you imagine the story behind the dress? That dress, that white, beaded dress must have an interesting tragedy to it, don't you think? The majority of married women i asked will never sell their wedding dresses.

My wedding dress must have an ugly divorce story.

I think all secondhand clothes must come with a short description, you know, for added zest. Something like "This wedding dress belonged to a 39 year old lady, whose husband cheated on her with his secretary. She is now single and thinks that no man is a gentleman and a scholar. You may have the dress now if you don't mind the story. It's a Vera Wang."

I walked past Elizabeth's, the secondhand bookstore, and the smell of secondhand books was so good.

Elizabeth's Secondhand bookstore

The chalkboard with a quote at the entrance of Elizabeth's. I feel like a scholar!

Off i went to the market. Oh there are flower shops, spice shops, fruits and vegetable shops, and bakery here in the market.

Potted Tomatoes

Flowers! They smell really nice

What the spice store sells

Spice Tubs

Mushrooms in the veggie store

Sneaked back to the flower shop hehe

Lemon Gatherer

2011-03-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

I stole some lemons from the neighbours backyard. Yup, that was the first thing i did in Perth.

Capturing my shenanigans!

Me in action!

This piece was made into a marinate for our garlic lemon chicken!

The Gypsies

2011-03-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

She lives in her own world, a crowd chosen,
The gypsies, they were her friends, her poisons, her lovers,
Running away from yesterdays,
Feet not touching the ground, no blades could cut her now.

She laughs all night, chasing cars, barefeet and free,
Such extreme velocity, she was never scared of me,
She wrote on a hotel paper, called me on her tin can phone, right under our tree,
Nothing is quite what it seems, that's why she lives in our dream.

The Pantheon

2011-03-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

Gods

Hospital.

A place that truly never sleeps.

Everywhere you turn you'll see a wide range of emotions and people surrendering their lives to the doctors who play Gods.

So many Gods. Like a Pantheon. When they do their rounds, i can't help but to study them.

How do they feel, knowing what they do every minute can make or break someone?

Last night, an old Malay lady passed away in the intensive care unit.

A young boy sobbed and two of her next of kin were on the phone saying the same thing "cik wan dah takde dah".

All these happened while i was leaning on a wall, lost in my own bubble.

Funny how indifferent i was. Funny how i didn't feel their pain at all.

When you're carrying your own cross, you just couldn't carry anyone else's.

I just stood there and watch the scene unfolded like i was watching the TV.

Turn to Page xx. I Want to See that Smile

2011-03-15T23:42:00.001-07:00

I never knew of Hunter S. Thompson until someone gave me the Rum Diary with a note 'Turn to page xx. I want to see that smile'.

I turned to page xx and it was a scene of nakedness and her cousin, drug abuse.

I never got around to finish the book. It was not the type of book that i read, but i was attracted to the idiosyncrasies of the author.

The Rum Diary was given to me about a year after Hunter S Thompson committed suicide, possibly while under the influence of LSD. He was known for his unapologetic drug use, his animosity towards Richard Nixon, and his style of reporting called Gonzo journalism.

This is the only person ever in my life that i want to invite to dinner. Sit him there in a chair, light him a cigar, pour him some rum, and let the deep and complicated person comes alive. I imagine he'd have a lot to say about life, relationships, and politics.

In the words of Hunter S. Thompson himself, anyone who ever pisses you off is a 'pig fucker'.

I know one thing though; he'd come back to rewrite a more kick ass suicide note.

No more games. No more bombs. No more walking. No more fun. No more swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than i needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No fun -- for anybody. 67. You are getting greedy. Act your old age. Relax -- This won't hurt.

All I am Missing is a Pair of Red Shoes

2011-03-15T22:14:00.001-07:00

This week's color for St.Gorgeous is Yellow!

Picture taken by Alex at the smoking area right after lunch so pardon the sunnies.

White Unicorn (Wolfmother)

2011-03-14T19:29:00.001-07:00

Have you been to the carnival
I would like to see you
Theres a whole lot of people there
Who would like to be you
With the white uncorn, across her shoulder
Makes you think that she might of been
Someone whos older, ahh yeahhh

And I know it's on your mind
We've been drinking on the wine
That we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time
We could live together

She lives on the borderline,
That they call hazel
And the tent that she lives in has the name of her lover,
As she lays down to rest, she dreamt of another
Of a time when she once had

And I know it's on your mind
We've been drinking on the wine
That we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time

Sister can you tell me when the day turns to night
She left without a word and wondered inside
How many day's must I still wonder why
And see her face in every passer by

We could live together

And I know it's on your mind
We've been drinking on the vine
That we drank from the serpents vine
Now we live in another time

We could live together

I Do Not Want to be Found Either

2011-03-12T20:37:00.000-08:00

They are getting darker; my thoughts.

Murky.

I thought i am whole again.

And then i asked this foreboding question; "What's next?"

I might not know what i want but i know what i need.

A break.

Away from people i know and love and just be with myself, finding peace.

Surrender the invisible corporate necktie to recollect myself and renew my faith in humanity, love, and purpose.

I am jaded and alone. I feel like I'm falling piece by piece and they go astray, missing.

I know they are hiding, not wanting to be found.

I do not blame them.

I do not want to be found either.

Purple is the New Black

2011-03-08T19:00:00.001-08:00

This week's theme color for us St.Gorgeous is Purple! :)

I Miss that Art Loving, Story Telling, Soul Searching Yogi from the Ghetto

2011-03-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

Van Gogh's Night Cafe. Van Gogh was a post-impressionist artist, by the way.

I dug deep last night to rediscover my passions. I love language and literature. I used to sit alone in my room crafting stories, interpreting Dante's Divine Comedy, finding the link between Pompeii and Sodom and Gomorrah, and learning Spanish.

Yes, i speak a bit of Spanish from countless episodes of Mis Tres Hermanas and two levels of Spanish classes.

I was artistically inclined too. I used to study paintings. Renaissance painting was my favorite among other art movement.

Although renaissance paintings intrigue me, i have a sense of familiarity with post-impressionist artists like Van Gogh. I don't know why but every time i look at Van Gogh's lesser known Night Cafe, i feel somewhat forlorn.

I often think i was that woman in the corner, nursing what seemed like a pint of beer, with her possible lover by her side. I wrote a poem based on that painting too, of what might have been that woman's thoughts.

And you left your baggage at the door,
Shouldn't you be somewhere at eight past four,
Hands in your pocket, your spirit soared,
Scar tissue of mine,
You're licking me raw.

Whiskey tucked and ready to go,
Looking like an angel missing a halo,
I wish i never knew you,
i wish you were a stranger,
i wish, i wish, you'd do away.

And in this night cafe,
You said you were meek and you were weak,
You said you seek reprieve,
Would i help you to release?

With each meal i fed you well,
With each meal I'm deeper in hell,
Rum of trust, raisins of hope,
You swept away crumbs of tomorrow.

You wrapped me up in your web of lies,
I am jaded, I am high,
Haunted by your past,
Do you think this would last?

I love you, I love you,
I swear i do,
I hate you, i hate you,
I swear that's true.

I wish you'd go away,
I wish you'd stay,
I wish, I wish, you'd go away.

I miss that art loving, story telling, soul searching yogi from the ghetto.

I'm glad she's back now.

Here's a song that gave this yogi another chance. *smiles*

Wolfmother-Vagabond

Wordless Random Trip

2011-03-05T19:44:00.000-08:00

At somewhere only we know, with the boys no one should know...so i can't blog about it. Pffftttt

Phoon Chi Ho, Kuah Jenhan, Douglas Lim= MACC

2011-03-05T18:48:00.000-08:00

Both the MACCs share the same motto: "Our job is to make you laugh at us".

I laughed at my one race all night (hard for me, i have Malay and Chinese blood in me, so sometimes i do not know if i should laugh or throw my shoes). Most of the jokes are politically and racially inclined, one have to be reminded not to be sensitive.

Lucky for us, Douglas Lim is my colleague's (Sinn Wee) childhood friend (dude got a mention too in Douglas' police-and-thief-story hehe) so we got to take pictures with the group and hang out at the after party with them.

However, I had to give the after party a miss because my tohpui (Yiling) was not feeling well. In all fairness, she did ask me to go to the after party, have fun and party like an Indian while she drives back home all in her lonesome with her gastric attack.

I was like "Hell, no. I cannot let you drive back like that just because i wanted to party. What kinda man would i be?".

And then i broke into the Chris Medina's song for his fiance and held her hand to cross the road. Yiling laughed and passed me her car keys and i drove us back. I gave her a strong lecture on eating right even though she had no time for a quick bite. I even stopped at a 7-eleven and got her a bun and a carton of milk. Forced her to drink a gulp of milk to settle her stomach before leaving her for the night. I asked her to text me when she's home. She did text me when she reached home safely, but i still lectured her on eating right. Saya seorang lesbo partner yang garang.

The rest had an awesome night at the after party with the MACC. I know coz Julia texted me weird texts like "watututu Man Chyunn is sitting next to Rashid Salleh".

When Julia is drunk, people like me get random weird syntax like watututu. What the hell is watututu wei?

This is the second comic, Kuah Jenhan, in action. He's supposed to be the super single, handsome guy of the three-lah.

Of course you can guess. I had to pose with the super single guy. Siap hug hug lagih, k?

Rashid Salleh wasn't part of the troupe. I have no idea why he's there, but i had to snap a pic with him after Julia pointed out that was Rashid Salleh hanging out by the stage. Excuse my starstruck grin *shy*. I've liked Rashid Salleh since hanging out at Nik Nazree's house one raya ten years ago while watching Toll Gate Girl heheheheheh

Tze Hao at the after party with Douglas and Rashid. New Kopitiam cast, maybe?

The girls at the after party with the MACC

My New Life Motto is to be Chantekk...

2011-03-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

"My new life motto is to be chantekk.. kalau chantek.. tak la stress sangat.. and kalau stress sangat pun.. at least chantekk! sekian!" - Repulsive Rina

I second that girlfriend! I have to do my nails, my hair, and show more legs. I want to puke on the dirty sidewalk and start writing on the bathroom wall.

Three more weeks to Perth. I can't wait to get out of here and get lost there...with Mam.

P's: Today is PINK day for St.Gorgeous, hence why i am in pink. :)

Road to Kinabalu Training #2

2011-02-28T05:59:00.000-08:00

Whatever it is, never eat while hiking up a hill.

Bina, Mili, and myself before heading up. I have a pack of snack hidden behind me.

The view from the top

See the dude behind us? He was making all sort of sex noises while working out.

This guy masih for sale. Hijaz Nazmi. 30 years young.

Pictures of the Week!

2011-02-27T19:48:00.000-08:00

Dinner is for sinners. I know. But whole weekend i just had the need to bite into them. :(

Love this place. There's something about them 'taters. So yummy! Jack's Place, One Utama

Arif was hunting for a sweater/jacket for his Hong Kong trip. I followed him to the mall. Big mistake. Took him two hours to find the perfect jacket (and it's not even the one pictured here. The perfect jacket came an hour later). I ended up buying a pants in that process. But i told him he looked like David Beckham. That's why he was smiling hehehehe

Eddy. If he's gay, he'll be my gay BFF. Too bad he isn't. So he's just my BFF...for now.

Juju and Bina. Dinner session at TGIF. The head waiter said i looked like a Sarawakian coz i have the eyes and the lips. I hope that's a good thing because i get that a lot (either i look like sarawakian, sabahan, or indonesian chinese).

I miss Yi Ling. Note to self, go on a date with her this Wednesday.

Why Men Marry Bitches? [Pardon My French]

2011-02-27T19:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, so last week Sabrina and I went to Borders to hunt for books.

Let me tell you this. The folks that hang around the self-help aisle definitely need therapy.

Or Befrienders.

Here are three books that I found absolutely hilarious:

1) Why Men Marry Bitches

Look, it's simple. Men marry bitches because they're hot and they want a trophy wife. Someone they can bawa ke majilis makan makan and feel like the biggest cock in the room. Why write an entire book on it? It's not rocket science.

2) How To Meet a Man After Forty

This is tricky because i have a feeling i should not be mocking this book. Chances are no one wants to significant other me if i keep delaying marriage.

3) Why Hasn't He Proposed?

First of all, who goes on a first date wanting to marry the dude? That's like showing up on a first date in a Vera Wang. Second of all, who needs a book to guide you from the first date to setting the date? Any episode of Sex and the City can give you the answer. Why spending forty bucks on it?

Liquor Store Mind Bandits

2011-02-19T18:52:00.000-08:00

I like to think i have a good head on my shoulder. Sometimes my head spends most of her time in the cloud, but my feet never fail to feel the ground.

I find balance in routines. I like to lull the afternoon with a shot, music, and cigarette. I don't think i can ever kick the habit.

Cheap comfort. Like the whore of Babylon.

I believe in reasons, why things are the way they are, because life is funny sometimes. You can't always get what you want, but if you try hard enough to understand the conundrum, you'll know why things are the way they are.

Because life's like that somehow. You spend a good size of it rebuilding dreams with broken tools, ignore the cracks, and lie to yourself that you're living a dream.

Which makes me want to explore what i am capable of.

Ticket for one, Cambodia. If March is too soon, I'll come in the month of May.

I'll bring my shame, but I'm leaving it there.

Writers, INCOMING! :)

2011-02-17T17:09:00.000-08:00

TGIF Writers!

2011-02-17T16:49:00.000-08:00

Like Old Times

2011-02-16T23:15:00.000-08:00

Picture taken at Upper Penang Road, 5th February 2011.
From Left: Sabrina, Nik, Chen Hui, Mills

The brew, friends, talks, and a short but pleasant surprise.

Urgh Moment: Fighting Temptation

2011-02-16T18:06:00.000-08:00

Ray Ban Wayfarers 2140. Makin tengok makin geram.

Gonna drop by the optical store today and tengok boleh tahan godaan or not.

Chanelling Hunter S. Thompson

2011-02-16T17:34:00.000-08:00

Us Girls St.Gorgeous :p

2011-02-16T17:23:00.000-08:00

Pic taken at La Bodega, 12th February 2011

Dear Ariel of Peterpan

2011-02-15T22:40:00.001-08:00

When your video leaked, i was gutted. I swear to God i was.

I wasn't tempted to watch you in your private moment. That speaks a lot for me.

You see, I honestly think you're uber talented. Your songs, they were haunting.

You were good looking too, which is a bonus. Tapi sampai sekarang i tak nampak pun mamat indon contractor muka macam Ariel.

I am going to celebrate today listening to the Bintang di Surga album.

To the rest, here's a song i love most!

Layan bangat!

If It was a Porsche, I'd Live and Die Like James Dean, But No One Famous Died in an M3

2011-02-14T03:58:00.000-08:00

I saw my life flashes before my eyes...in a car driven at 260 kilometer per hour.

I swear i could see thru time.

I'm a wimp, but a macho wimp at that. When Juju asked me if i was OK, i acted indifferent. I don't know why, but i didn't want them to call me a chicken, even at the expense of my life.

And then the car started to weave in and out of traffic like a woman scorned. I started texting everyone my last will and testament.

Coupled with the deafening music booming from the stereo and the velocity, i thought to myself "This is how people die in movies!"

I felt a gag coming.

Oh dear God, i wanted to puke.

I looked around the back seat for a plastic bag, a pail, a parachute, something i could bawl into.

Nothing.

And then the car took a sharp swerve left and then right to avoid a Perdana.

That was when i asked to be stopped by the roadside.

After a minute break, i ruminated on the idea of asking Arif for help, or walk from wherever i am all the way to Iceland or whenever my poor feet could take me.

If it was a Porsche, I'd live and die like James Dean, but no one famous died in an M3 yet.

Maybe then i'll hop in and say "shut up and drive" ala Rihanna.

But at least I've done this. Now i can tell people of my tales and how i cap my speed limit at 100 kmph.

P's: Hasrin+Juju=Please bawak slow slow! I love you guys too much!

I Think Next Year You Guys Are Going to Buy a House For Each Other

2011-02-13T01:24:00.000-08:00

I actively participate in surprising my friends, but i rarely get surprises.

I'm not a people person.

Nevertheless, my emotional lesbian partner, Yi Ling, surprised me with an early birthday present (I'm an August baby, by the way).

Two tickets to Bali! Yes, she paid for them and sent me the itinerary. And on the day when i needed a pick-me-up most.

Her reasons? Because i have always been her pillar. That's really an overstatement, because she has always been my anchor. Sometimes i get carried away as a person, but she almost always manages to pull me back and make me feel deserving.

I thank God for Yiling. I do. We rarely see each other but we love one another and treated each other as sisters.

When i told Emily what Yiling gave me, she looked at me and said "I think next year you guys are going to buy a house for each other."

Oh Bapu Gandhi, How I Love Thee and Your White Dothi

2011-02-12T23:30:00.000-08:00

Whenever I say I would love to visit India, most people would give me this constipated look and ask "Eww...why India?"

Why India?

Arif would say because I'm an Indian lover (long story) but that's not the point.

I think Slumdog Millionaire ruined it for India. Seriously. Although Naz pointed out that the movie was shot in Mumbai and not Delhi, to most, they are the same. It's India in general.

Here are my reasons:

Gandhi Was Here

Can you imagine being in the same place as Gandhi, feeling his presence? I am going to stalk him everywhere in Delhi, i can feel it. If i were in India back in the '30's, i would march together with him in his famous salt satyagraha, drinking in his power, from Ahmedabad to Gujerat. He would boot me out from his ashram because i would probably be writing him love letters everyday.

"Oh Bapu Gandhi, how i love thee and your white dothi...

Your #1 Fan,

Emilia"

Spices

Like their weddings, their spices are colorful! Did you know that Indian spices were a commodity way back when the Romans reigned supreme?

Indian Food

Yes, my friends, Indian Food. Masala, Rassam, Tandoori, sweatmeats, chutney, and Naan. Indian restaurants in Malaysia only serve a fraction of authentic Indian food, most of them betrayed their roots and turned 'fusion' to cater to the locals. India, on its own, has a lot more to offer than what you can get here in Malaysia.

Taj Mahal

If a person loves someone so much and built a breathtaking building as a dedication, you just had to be there and appreciate it. Period. Don't be a jerk. Such grand gesture of love is not corny.

Rich Textile

Yes, i want to get a real saree by a real Indian, not a third generation malaysian indian.

The next time someone 'eews' India, I am going to flip my hair and say "You don't deserve India".

A Squadron of Butterflies

2011-02-07T23:55:00.000-08:00

I feel a lot of my self worth, or the lack of it, has a lot to do with me being a jerk.

I'm a wreck. So much so that i do not believe i deserve anything good in life. And I get scared when things are going well. Happiness is just a state of mind. It is not for me because i am such a monster.

When I'm happy, i am beyond ecstatic. I'll have you choose colors from the diamond canopy. But when i overdosed on it, i get scared, crawled into a hole, and won't come out until i am ready.

Generally, it's fun to be with me, but I'm a poison more than I am a drug.

Soon you'll see the cracks and it'll be too late.

Dear Bruno Mars

2011-02-06T20:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Bruno Mars,

You write painfully obvious lyrics, but unlike Taylor Swift's songs, they don't make me wanna ask rhetorical questions (Taylor, of course your heart beats in your chest...where else would it be beating?).

The problem is, when i asked my boyfriend why didn't he write a song like Just the Way You Are for me, his answer was:

Have you seen the girl in the video clip? Yang tu pun dia duduk kat rumah pakai macam tu, OK?

BURN!

Now I'm pressured to wear fake eyelashes, high heels, and denim shorts while doing laundry. I also need to get a lower back tattoo.

I demand a new song and a new video clip starring a girl in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Girls do not get all dolled up just to listen to walkman. While I'm at it, we don't do threesome unless we're getting paid for it, and we don't wear lingerie every night. They are highly uncomfortable.

Dear Mike-the-Accountant

2011-01-28T04:38:00.000-08:00

Dear Mike-the-Accountant,

I stretched my money thinner than a thong since January 1st.

I ate in my office's cafeteria, taking advantage of the RM 3.00 lunch subsidy. I am careful not to overspend the subsidy. One day, i went crazy at the sight of nasi tomato. I looked around for the cafeteria operator. I nak tanya dia, kenapa serve nasi tomato bersama lauk ayam masak merah? Tak tau ke orang tengah diet poket? I took one piece of chicken, two pieces of beancurd, and some pineapple and cucumber salad. I had to pay an additional thirty cents! I was gutted.

I'm selling my companionship. I made my colleagues pay for my lunch if they wanted me to eat out.

If i'm not careful, I might end up selling hugs (bukan drugs, ok?)

I drove without turning on the air-conditioning. Wow, i actually drove around with only two bars of gas for three days! I didn't even know that's possible. I sweated like a pig and i was close to getting a heat stroke, but hey, i was frugal.

I ran out of hair conditioner earlier this week. I used two dots of Johnson's baby oil and rub it on my damp hair before blow drying. And you know what Mike? They have the same effect! I saved RM 10.00 for not buying a bottle of conditioner! Woo-hoo!

Over the weekend, I cut my own bangs after watching an 8-minute YouTube video, and i graduated with honors. My three cats attended my convocation. I looked at my fallen bangs on the floor, shrugged, and walked away, hoping that Arif mistook them for King Kong's hair. But i think King Kong ratted me out because Arif reprimanded me the next day. He said i might be a good self-taught hair stylist, but i need to learn to clean up my hair and it's not cool to pin it on a cat. No matter. I saved RM 30 for avoiding the salon.

I organized a wardrobe swap with my girlfriends. I get to wear a new sexy dress for two months! I saved about RM 100 this month because of the successful wardrobe swap! =)

I wanted to get a Wayfarers like yours, but i didn't. I walked past the optical store like a frugal snob i am now.

What's your stand on nicking a Starbucks voucher, by the way?

No to Backpackers Uniform

2011-01-28T04:20:00.000-08:00

Unwilling to don the backpackers uniform (harem pants, beer t-shirt, and rows and rows of bangles), I plan to live in a sarong while I am in Bali.

I don't have to bring any clothes (with the exception of delicate, for sure) and i get to travel light.

Arif is not coming with me. I am gutted, because unfortunately, Bali is a romantic island so i planned this trip around the idea.

Adakah ini bermakna i get to menjalang di Bali?

Just kidding.

I'm too old for shenanigans.

Plus, this means Arif has more days for India (i warned him to keep to India because he does not want my wrath).

Picture :)

2011-01-24T18:54:00.000-08:00

Nyepi, Amati Karya

2011-01-19T03:56:00.000-08:00

In Bali, Nyepi is a day of silence and reflection. Balinese welcome and observe this day of silence to keep the balance of nature.

One of the condition in observing Nyepi is Amati Karya; which means no working. Medicine men, farmers, grocers, masseuse, performers, musicians and children are to amati karya and self-reflect at home. Even televisions amati karya.

Wow.

Nyepi has made Bali a unique island.

It got me to thinking, if an entire island can observe a day of silence for self-reflection, maybe i can to.

I'm observing my own Nyepi tomorrow.

Just me, my book, coffee, and my thoughts.

But be warned, for storm is everywhere; even in the quietest mind.

And It Wasn't That Good Anyway

2011-01-16T18:16:00.000-08:00

Meh.

That's what I thought of the emo shit I wrote four years ago.

Rereading them last night was a feat, let me tell you that.

I guess the shit spoke well to me then because it was relevant.

About a month ago, i listened to a bunch of Backstreet Boys songs (I'll never break your heart, Anywhere for you etc) and i laughed because their songs were incredibly LAME and PATHETIC. I could not believe how i used to love those songs!

It's the same feeling, what i felt last night. The subject matter is no longer relevant.

So, if i were to flex some writing muscle today, it'd be something like this:

I see that empty crate,
You can decorate it all you want,
I'd say let's leave it up to fate,
So silly, i know,
But there's comfort in every sin,
And it wasn't that good anyway.

Pffftttt!

P;s: I know some of you are probably on youtube now to listen to I'll Never Break Your Heart. Let me know if you feel sick in the stomach.

Sightseeing in Penang without Spending a Dime #1: Taman Rimba, Teluk Bahang

2011-01-15T18:02:00.000-08:00

Breaking Dawn?

Hijaz amongst the stream dwellers

Posing sat!

Dah temz!

Tengah seronot mandi sungai

Hijaz and my badly manicured toes!

My braces scare the geckos away! Such a hero!

Ramai orang. Sampai terhimpit himpit nak mandi.

Muka tak siap

I live by the rule that everyone deserves to brag sometimes. Everywhere you see, people are posting pictures of their cute babies, awesome vacations, new cars, and bags on Facebook!

Some of youse might think that my incessant writing about Wilhelmina's traveling plan is a way of bragging. Well, that's up to you. For me, that's my 2011 raison d'etre.

I've been cutting cost since January 1st. I'm guilty of mooching off Arif, that's for sure. I begged Arif to pay for food because I didn't want to spend my money. That's my secret sin. I don't know how i'm going to repay him, but i'll find my way.

I claim the bragging rights to Wilhelmina's traveling plan, for all my cost cutting efforts.

Remember back in the days when families would go to the beach to spend some precious family time together? I reckon it's because it's inexpensive. If it wasn't for Wilhelmina, i would spend hundreds of ringgit in the mall to lull away my weekend.

Hijaz and I went for a dip at Taman Rimba, Teluk Bahang. If you think swimming in a stream in the middle of the jungle is archaic, think again. The place was a tad crowded, but it was serene nonetheless.

If you think you're too classy to rough it out, then you don't deserve Taman Rimba.

What Should I Bring?
1. Towel
2. Picnic food
3. Floor mat
4. Extra clothes
5. Wear sensible shoes!
6. No need to get your face all done because your Maybelline foundation bakal mencemarkan air.

How Do I Get There?
From George Town, take the northern beach road through Batu Ferringhi until you reach the Teluk Bahang roundabout. Make a 9 o'clock turn to the left. After passing the Penang Butterfly Farm, you will reach Taman Rimba.

How Much Did I Spend Today?
-Probably RM 5.00 for the gas from Bayan Lepas to Teluk Bahang.
-Parking is free
-Entrance is free
- 30 cents to change in the toilet, which very clean! You can shower in the toilet too, but you'll be charged RM 1.00 (so aku tak mandi lah. Just salin baju je)

Berbaloi-baloi!

Next Up: Penang Heritage Trail

The Story Behind the Picture-The First Mister-Miss 2011 War

2011-01-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

Mister and Miss, 30 minutes after the Mister-Miss First 2011 War

Arif turned 29 today and we had our first Mister and Miss 2011 War.

Let me tell you the story.

We were supposed to meet Vingie and Colleen at Jack's Place at One Utama for his birthday lunch. We started our day with good vibes. I woke up to birds singing outside the small bathroom window. His cats behaved themselves while i was there. I even had my coffee with some sugar, my first since I started drinking my coffee black and bitter.

[Your choice of coffee tells a lot about you].

Damansara, however, does not agree with me, particularly One Utama. The basement parking was packed with kiasu Chinese New Year shoppers and it took us 20 minutes to find a parking spot.

And to make matters worse, after a long stroll in the mall, i realized we were going Up, Down, Up a level again, and tawwaf kat Level 2. I realized Arif was unsure of the place. Then when I said (or yelled...5 octave above my normal voice) Can you please get the location first before we walk again? We're running around like idiots!" and he said "It's my *bleep* birthday. You always yell at me in the mall. Always".

A speky chinese man turned to looked at us, and I gave him the eye. Yes, my tak-pernah-kena-pukul-ke eyes. He pretended to look elsewhere and surreptitiously turned away.

I looked back at Arif, still not letting go of my bite "You think it's your birthday, and you're allowed to be stupid, is it?" Siap dengan my ghetto hand wave OK?

The moment i said that, I realized I crossed the line.

Oops.

I braced myself for what's coming next. However, Arif let me have the last word and ignored my obvious display of childish tantrum. His silent treatment has its effect. It shamed me and makes me want to crawl into a hole. But my ego has her own price, so I pursed my lips and buat relaks.

Soon after, he held my hand, and I said 'Sorry'

[After saying sorry, I ada la bebel lagi, but that's just me being a woman-lah, ok?]

Finally we found the place and I ordered myself a drink to calm my nerves. We don't usually fight in public or in front of friends and put themselves in awkward positions, so i lack the skill to compose myself.

When Vingie took this picture for us, she had to ask us to move closer.

That's why we're not ready to get married. Because the next time I scream 5 octave higher, I am going to find myself single.

There are still an awful lot of me that i need to work on and until then, i cannot give myself to someone who deserves so much more.

Notice the cake with a burning candle on it? Sponsored by Vingie and Colleen. Arif made a wish before blowing the candle.

That's so sweet of Vingie and Colleen. Thanks, guys!

Happy Birthday, Babe.

P'S: Arif has celebrated thirteen birthdays with me, by the way.

Perth, Baby!

2011-01-06T02:50:00.000-08:00

Booked my flight to Perth and Mam is coming with me! =)

Slit our Throats and Watch the Dust Come Out

2011-01-05T02:04:00.000-08:00

I can't stop talking about my traveling plans (trying to sleep at night is a battle too, because that's when I plan for my trips. I do not want to reach my destination without an itinerary and run around like an idiot).

I've always thought I am a fat girl inside a skinny girl's body (Saya Gay, tapi Saya OK?), so Wilhelmina took me by surprise. I do not know the exact time she was resurrected for the millionth time, but this time, when she choked, coughed, and sputtered, I commanded her not to die.

(The fat girl now has a housemate. Nice).

I do not know when I want to get married. In Cambodia, 28 year old single females are considered too old for marriage. You can slit our throats anytime, and watch the dust come out. I even believe such ritual exist there.

28 years old is not old. It's the right time to travel because I have a career.

In fact, my single self might visit Tuscany when I'm 40 (but unlike Bali, Tuscany does not guarantee a cure for mid-life crisis).

I'm glad Wilhelmina is here. At least I have a new answer to the resounding 'Bila nak kahwin' question.

P's: I donated my coins to the Penang Adventist Hospital for their Coins Donation Drive. Have you? :)

Hello Guruji!

2011-01-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

Finally, my new 'old school' Chinese calendar has been put to good use. I find it extremely helpful to plan my trip to Bali.

When you're traveling under a strict budget (RM 1,500 or USD 500.00 all inclusive), you must look for:

1. The cheapest time to travel [Avoid national holidays. I'm sure you heard of surcharges]
2. The cheapest area to stay [Avoid main tourist spots such as Kuta]
3. The cheapest guesthouse to stay [Consider Villas if you're traveling in a group]
4. The cheapest transportation mode [Bus, Taxi, or hire a car? Hmmm]

Of course, beggers can't be choosers, but what's stopping you from getting the best of the worst?

That's when research helps! You see the website I'm checking out on the laptop? Literally saved my life!

Check out my official travelling guru, Pause the Moment, for travel tips, or simply to follow the couples globetrotting adventure!

When it Comes to Clothes, I Usually Leave Leggings Alone

2011-01-01T23:35:00.000-08:00

I have to save money to 'feed' Wilhelmina's traveling lust. So I spent my afternoon, sipping coffee, and performing financial review (sans the geeky specs).

Here's the good news. I have money saved for long term savings.

The bad news?

I don't have much for short term savings!

I can skip meals, eat like a mouse, and rob my mum.

Or I can identify like-minded friends, and organize a wardrobe swap!

I have tonnes of clothes i bought on impulse (bad hair day, kena marah dengan boss, workload macam taik, etc) and a lot of them only get to see human twice. Organizing a wardrobe swap is a grand idea to experience fashion for free!

If luck is by your side, you can save about RM 200 per month on clothes!

I have one rule though. Jangan swap leggings cause they stick too close to the crotch!

Resolution #2: To Travel, and Let's Leave the Midsection out of This

2011-01-01T02:28:00.000-08:00

Wilhelmina the Girl Wanderlust and William the Boy Wanderlust

My second resolution is to travel. Reasons came and matters were better for it. Arif said OK to visit India!

[Finally]

Like Wilhelmina, i believe this side of Arif deserves a name.

Let me introduce you to William the Boy Wanderlust.

William needs to find out when is the best time to visit India from his cousin and his girlfriend, OK William?

My main goal is to experience authentic indian food, roadside style, so I'm going to leave any diet plans behind. I want to be fat and merry eating curry!

Yiling, Kim Yoong and I have plans to visit Melbourne and/or Perth (because we get to bunk with relatives, so we get to save on accommodation).

Me thinks Yiling and Kim Yoong need nicknames too! Any suggestions? =)

I am Bored of You because You Don't Contribute Anything but Saliva and Obsoleted Ideas

2011-01-01T01:13:00.000-08:00

With Puan Azian from Wisma Yatim Perempuan Islam Pulau Pinang

When I collected donations for a Muslim orphanage during Ramadhan, my Buddhist and Christians friends donated too. All in the name of doing good.

When I handed the money to Puan Azian of the orphanage, I didn't get a third degree from her. Dia tak tanya pun, awat Cina bagi derma? Duit depa duit halal ke? She accepted it, said thank you, and wished everyone semoga murah rezeki.

So why Muslims wishing Merry Christmas to their Christian friends or celebrating New Year boleh jadi issue? Is that such a great sin?

If you belief that a Muslim shouldn't go around greeting Merry Christmas, then encourage us by saying it's sufficient to say 'Happy Holidays'. You don't preach religion by way of calling your brothers and sisters 'Stupid' or 'Bodoh', or make remarks like 'Buat malu ja celebrate New Year. Orang Barat ja yang sambut'.

Kalau macam tu, then please jangan kerja kat multi national companies (MNCs) because as you may know, most stakeholders are Jewish or Christian folks.

Also, jangan observe cuti raya cina, raya hindu, and raya raya yang lain.

If someone who works in a Muslim orphanage can set an example in racial tolerance and wasn't at all petty, please let go of that Holier-than-Thou sentiment.

Tolonglah jangan besarkan benda remeh and calling people stupid. You can channel that energy doing something positive.

But thanks to you, I now know how to be politically correct so I bid you 'Happy Holidays'.

Projek Mini: Pisang untuk Jemaah Solat Jumaat (Sumbangan Ikhlas)

2010-12-31T22:39:00.000-08:00

My university friend, Hafiz, is organizing a small charity project to distribute bananas to several mosques around Kuala Lumpur on 14th January 2011.

If you wish to contribute, please visit the project's Facebook page.

Projek Mini: Pisang untuk Jemaah Solat Jumaat (Sumbangan Ikhlas)

Tanda Protest Service and Government Tax Increment, My #1 Resolution is...

2010-12-30T22:18:00.000-08:00

My first resolution for 2011 is, not to pay service and government taxes for a year (unless it's on a good friend's dime).

This is my toughest resolution, Amazing Race Asia style. This means no more Mcdonalds, Starbucks, and TGIF. Because i am an emotional eater, i frequent these places when i need to unwind. French fries drenched in ketchup. I can see thru time!

But these designer places, they cost a bomb even without the taxes. On top of the meal and the additional service and government taxes, the waiters expect to be tipped!

Imagine saving about RM 10 for a cup of coffee.

On a night like tonight, Yi Ling and I, we will be ushering in the new year in mamak! Kayu or Hameediyah.

Maybe not Kayu. Pasal mamak ni lupa taruh kuah daging walaupun aku requested for it last night when i tapau for dinner. So aku frust tertungging.

I Love it When the Universe Speaks

2010-12-29T21:02:00.000-08:00

Second to writing, i am pretty good with symbolism.

Lately, i had accidental meetings with the number 1234. For some reasons, i see this sequence everywhere; a manual that i was working on ends on page 1234 (that was a big ass manual), embarking a bus at 12:34, waking up at 12:34 pm, getting a text at 12:34 a.m, and being assigned to the number 1234 at the post office.

It's surreal. The universe is speaking to me!

I was up last night trying to string a symbol to the number 1234.

I reckoned it's a sequence to keep life at a balance. To keep me in my zen.

Earlier this month, i had 13 resolutions in my list. But the universe is telling me 1, 2, 3, 4. Only 4. Otherwise, I'll be overwhelmed and risked drowning in it.

Four resolutions in 2011.

If you add the numbers in 2011, it sums up to 4.

I love it when the universe speaks.

Wilhelmina the Wanderlust Has Arrived - Love, Pray, Eat

2010-12-27T01:02:00.000-08:00

Whenever the wanderlust (I call her Wilhelmina) in me peeked, somehow it choked, coughed, sputtered, and died.

In retrospect, I should revive Wilhemina. At least I get to live vicariously through her. But whenever Wilhelmina dies, I shrugged and went back to staring at my PC.

But last month while i looked back on 2010, I realized I've never traveled! I've always preferred to be in my own world, but this has got to change!

Everybody else travels, but I wanted to spice up my adventure. So like a cat burglar, i stole Elizabeth Gilbert's idea and turned it backwards.

My traveling plan for 2011 is Bali, India, and Australia (Italy is out of the question at the moment. I want to travel, not go broke, OK?)

I have been sitting on India for a while. Arif is reluctant to visit India (he is not racist. History is just not his best subject. And he keeps banana leaf dishes at arm's length). But Min Yee's pictures are so breathtaking, Wilhelmina wants to go there badly!

Here. Let me show you the exquisite pictures by Min Yee:

All i can do, for now, is plan. Whether or not i have the time to spare for traveling, that's a different question.

But here's hoping that Wilhelmina gets to live and dance on the streets of India and Bali.

Please Pay Your Mother Before Paying Your Retailers

2010-12-26T19:45:00.000-08:00

Almost 20% of my salary goes to Mam.

It means I don't get to drive a decent Japanese car and stuck sharing my current car with my sister. It also means I don't get to buy a RM 300,000 house yet.

Every month before i make insurance payments, car payment, phone and broadband payments, I pay Mam first.

Even when i am short on cash on any given month, i will not stiff Mam off her 20%. Never.

While i am still single and able, Mam will always get her 20%. She might have to take a pay cut when i am married and have my own family, though. Hehe

It's OK if i don't get to buy things that i want. Making my Mam happy and proud is really the best feeling in the world.

Because our mothers sacrificed so much for us while we were growing up.

Now it's our turn.

They Wanted Us Back

2010-12-25T04:52:00.000-08:00

Kids are such sweethearts when they are well mannered.

A bunch of us were at Rumah Aman to distribute Macdonalds Happy Meals, personalized cupcakes, and brand new gifts to the boys. Rumah Aman is really clean and well mantained, a fact that i really like because kids should grow up in such environment, don't you agree?

When we arrived, the boys were seated in the dining hall. When we distributed the Happy Meals to them, each of them said 'Thank you', and 'Terima Kasih'. One smart kid said:

Xièxiè

Can you imagine that? The kid obviously was learning mandarin and wanted to practice his speech!

Oh and they got so excited at the personalized cupcake! I think Juwita touched them in such a way that they felt someone out there cared enough to make something so unique. They asked "Kami boleh makan muka kami tak?" or "Can we eat our faces?". While eating their Happy Meal burgers, they studied their faces on the cupcakes and discussed amongst themselves how is that possible. Reminds me of little scientists!

When the time came for the gifts distributions, the kids became ecstatic. Whatever manner ingrained in their little spines gave way to genuine joy! The curious ones left their seats to investigate the nicely wrapped presents. One kid tried to guess the gifts! Yang tu bola kan, kakak? Yang tu jam kan, kakak? (amboi, pandai betul hang nie. Kalau ada game show Guess the Presents, mesti hang menang punya. Confirm!)

I shooed the curious Georges back into their seats and then briefed the little tots about how secret santa works. How each gift is numbered and they have to randomly pick a number from a bowl filled with numbered paper. If you picked number 3, look for a gift numbered 3!

"And on each gift, there is a card with the name of the pledger on it. Keep the card carefully, because after getting your gift, we want you to draw a thank you note to the pledger. OK? Boleh buat tak?" I went on.

"Boleh!" They screamed.

Because there were about 5 tables, I asked the little tots which table wants to come out and draw the numbers first. Naturally, all 60 hands went up! Big mistake. Ha ha. You're talking about kids with presents. Silly me.

So i said, "Ok, macam ni. Dua table depan, sila hantar seorang ketua, and then kita o zom. Siapa menang, table dia dapat dulu. Lepas table tu, table yang kat belakang pergi pula. Ok?"

You know how before a battle starts, the representatives from two opposing teams meet at the middle ground, and speak of war terms and what not? It looked exactly like that! Each table sent their chiefs and they o zomed (scissors, paper, stone)! And when it was over, you can hear a mixture of yays and ohhhhhs. Obviously, the yays were from the winning team. One kid even pat the chief on the back for such an amazing display of o zom technique.

I observed the kids when they dipped their hands into the bowl. Some closed their eyes and wished 'nombor 21, nombor 21' (number 21 is a football from Mahendran, by the way). Another one took forever to fish out a number and made his friends impatient. One kid mouthed an excited 'wow' when he picked out the biggest present on the table (a water gun). As he walked away, i noticed he was carrying a gift almost half of his size. No wonder he wowed.

Towards the end of the lucky draw, the impatient few formed a line, waiting for their turn.

After the lucky draw, they proceeded to draw their thank you drawings. This time, Ya Ping's, Hazrina's, and Yi Ling's gifts became handy because they get to use the color pencils and crayons. (To my surprise, none of them has color pencils. So we had to open some of the gifts to use the color pencils and crayons.)

They were willing to share.

This time, the kids became chatty. I got questions like "Kakak, uncle David Ong pakai spec mata tak? Uncle Ong ada misai tak? Abang Adi Putra suka bola sepak tak? Dia suka Manchester United tak?". I wanted to pinch their cheeks for such cuteness!

In all the joy, they do not forget their prayers. When it was 5' o clock, they left the dining room to perform their solat and came back running to pick up where they left off.

At times, they got rowdy. They hid their drawings when someone from another table tippy toed to another table, the kids with finished art job guarded their entries on the main table from other roving eyes, and i was overwhelmed. Nasib baik Hazrina, cikgu seksi for the day, came to my rescue. She asked them to keep quiet and got them back to their places. "Kakak kira sampai lima, siapa tak balik tempat masing masing kena tolak markah. And panggil kakak, kakak ok? Jangan panggil makcik. Sensitif tau." She warned.

While waiting for the kids to finish their drawing, i was beside myself. I was in a good company. Vingie was a natural with the kids. Colleen was very organized. Ridhuan, albeit new to the team, was in synced with the the rest because he was from Penang, too. Hazrina, with her teaching background, was excellent in crowd control. Mimi and Sabrina helped the kids with drawing. I felt inspired.

When the competition was over and as we packed our bags to leave, kids gathered around me, asked when will i come back. Kakak, bila kakak senang, kakak datang lagi tau.

I was speechless.

They wanted us back.

I want to thank the following people for making 'Pledge a Gift to the Rumah Aman Boys' possible:

1. Juwita Ahza and My Cuppy Beez
2. David Ong
3. The Ong Family
4. Ya Ping
5. Yi Ling and Kim Yoong
6. Cheong Ai Ling
7. Cheong Ai Ling's Boss
8. Mahendran

And a big YES WE DID IT to Bloggers Give Back comittee:

1. Vingie Him
2. Colleen
3. Ridhuan from Detik Indah
4. Hazrina
5. Mimi
6. Sabrina
7. Yi Ling and Kim Yoong

Rolling My Balls Blue

2010-12-22T08:08:00.000-08:00

It reads like an 18-SX entry but it is not, i assure you, so kids, it's safe to read on.

Winter solstice festival has always been an important tradition for my family. The tradition of rolling tang yuen is about balance and harmony (ying and yang), and family eat the little tang yuen for good luck!

This year, as fate would have it, I was called to KL for Bloggers Give Back 2010's final chapter. I was gutted, knowing that my family will be rolling the tang yuen without me.

Nevertheless, i decided to celebrate with Arif and Moe. I hunted for the main ingredient, the glutinous rice fluor (without it, you might as well just give up and die!) and as fate would have it, three major supermarkets ran out of it (Tesco, Giant, and Carrefour). I even went to Cold Storage. I deducted that rich tai tais who frequent Cold Storage usually order their tang yuen so more chances of getting the flour there, right? I was dead wrong! Cold Storage ran out of the flour too!

So i browsed around (because i do not want to give up and die!) and i knew i had to improvise. I went to the Japanese products aisle and looked for something similar. And i found bags of dumpling flour!

Close enough. =)

I went home and got my balls rolling!

This year, because i called the shots, i rolled some blue balls! Mam was really anal about the colors of tang yuen. She thinks blue colored tang yuens are too modern.

But look at these smurf balls, man! Aren't they gorgeous?

Multicolored Tang Yuen

My workers for the night!

I can miss out on Chinese New Year, but never Tang Yuen festival. Glad that Arif and Moe catched up on this little tradition too. =)

Merry Merry!

2010-12-21T23:15:00.001-08:00

I love wrapping presents! Me thinks if all else fails, i might just consider a career in wrapping presents.

What i didn't consider is, wrapping presents could potentially hurt your wrist, exposing you to the danger of arthritis. Shaky hands aren't sexy!

I'm sure the boys at Rumah Aman will be so happy! Thanks Vingie, for championing this drive for Bloggers Give Back 2010.

I still have one guitar kapak to buy. Mana nak cari in KL? Anyone knows?

Drowning

2010-12-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

weiii it's year end la...tolonglah bagi aku some break!

We Still Need the Occasional Coffee and Dinner

2010-12-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

When you have made a decision in the past, stick to it, because revisiting the past is not the best idea.

Say, for example, you decided not to befriend a person a decade ago for various reasons.

You can argue that people change, but really, do they? What have they proven to you, apart from physical changes and hair length?

I find myself constantly surveying damages from my broken friendships. Fine, I get it. We all have our own lives and they don't revolve around me as much as I want to, but would it kill you to honor your appointments with me? Why do you always agree to meet up and then ditch the entire plan last minute?

In fact, why do i even bother to invite you?

You don't substitute friendship with Facebook. The entire faux sense of friendship aka what-do-you-mean-we've-lost-touch-I-do-post-a-comment-on-your-nightclub-photos is really immature. Social networking sites merely complement friendship.

We still need the occasional coffee and dinner.

To Change Your Life, You Must Change Your Hair

2010-12-11T18:42:00.000-08:00

I will always remember 2010.

Not because I got married. It's actually quiet the contrary.

I made four resolutions this year. I remember when i made them. I was on my bed, on my back, staring at the cobwebs on the ceiling (yes, i rarely spring clean my room. Deal with it), and I got really depressed.

I remember crying alone because i had nothing to account for. My life was about getting up at 6 a.m and sleeping at 9 p.m. Work work work. No time was spent working on other areas in my life.

I needed a change. To take charge, per say. To make a change in myself and hope that it can influence others.

Here are my resolutions and i am proud to say They are fulfilled!

Resolution #1: Edgy Hair (April 2010)

Edgy ke?

To change your life, you must change your hair. This is a quote i came up with to psych myself. I also told my hairstylist the same thing too because she kept asking me if i am sure about cutting it.
Unfortunately, Arif HATED my hair. Aww...he's so supportive. But no matter. I did it for myself.

Let me tell you about the bluntness in Arif. About a month ago, I wanted to make an illegal U-turn (opps, did i just confessed to a traffic offense?). After waiting for a minute, a male driver in a small white kancil stopped and allowed me to commit the offense. I said to Arif "So nice of him kan? Maybe because i am hot kot. Ha Ha."

And Arif dengan bitchnya replied "Not with this hair".

Love him to bits!

Resolution #2: Learn to Drive (June 2010)

I guess for years I was a brat. I did not see the need to drive myself (memang spoil gila kan?) because my best friends were always the drivers.

I still hate to drive even though i could now. Not a fan of road bullies and mat rempits in Penang.

Moving on...

Resolution #3: Give Back (May, August, December 2010)

This resolution is my all time favorite. My baby. This year, my little group (Bloggers Give Back 2010) organized three fundraisers!

Mount Miriam Cancer Hospital (May 2010)

Us with the Mount Miriam Representatives!

This is a super fun project. We had this "Wear PINK to Support Bloggers Give Back 2010 Fund Raiser" sub event and here are the pictures!

Hui Leang

Me!

Yi Ling

Coney

Vingie

Andrea

Tinkerbell

Irene and Sherlyn

Ramadhan Cheer for Wisma Anak Yatim Perempuan Islam Pulau Pinang (August 2010)

At the Porch

Pledge a Gift for Rumah Aman Boys (December 2010)

Loading the shopping bags in my car...

Books, creative toys, stationery...

Creative toys

Color pencil!

As we're approaching the end of 2010, Vingie texted me and asked if we could start another project to collect gifts for the boys at Rumah Aman.

So, this year, we capped Bloggers Give Back 2010 with 'Pledge a Gift to the Rumah Aman Boys' project, and time is of the essence!

Here are the items I got yesterday (after four persons pledge money, enough to buy just about 20 gifts! *sayang*)

Let me tell you that shopping for a kid all in your lonesome is not easy, let alone shopping for 20 kids! I went to two different shops and made two trips to my car because they were heavy! But no complains, i get some leg work and also get to shop!

We're still lacking of right about 8 gifts, so if you want to pledge a gift, you still can! If you do not have the time to do your shopping, you can bank transfer to me the money (RM 20 for a gift is good) and I'll be your personal shopper! =)

Resolution # 4: Brace Yourself for a Toothy Adventure (December 2010)

Let me tell you this. I fear the dentist but at the same time, i want gigi kacak also. How now brown cow?

I faced my fear by telling my dentist that I am a wimp and for the love of God, please don't kill me. It works! My dentist was gentle. I left her clinic feeling like a loser for not dealing with this years ago!

After 2 weeks of teeth extraction, scaling and filling, i went for my bonding a couple of days ago. *smiles*

I want to dedicate year 2010 to myself, my family, my friends, and to the Bloggers Give Back 2010 pledgers for helping me help myself and others! *sayang*